FILL YOUR CUP

"fill your cup"


fill your cup, drink it slow
tip it back, let it flow,
sit,
and wallow,
in your throat
taste the emptiness
the self-righteousness
what should be your own contempt
grip your glass, i know it's hard
you can't stand the taste
it's bitter-sweet that you resent
unfortunate what it represents
bring forth the end of so many things
i took down the walls you kept me in
who knew opening up would be a sin
now it's over, the cup's bone dry
take from it, whatever you like
this is the end and it feels right
i refuse to regret
all my honesty has put me through..

PASSENGER

"Passenger"

this is a plea
to all that want to speak and think freely
extend yourself past what's in front of you
and see it to, there's life beyond these walls,
beyond the screens
((a generation built on apathy))

we swear we'll change the world
we watch it rot, we say we try
i can't stand by
and listen to the lies
i've seen enough
((i've had enough))

i won't be another passenger
i won't be another passenger
i won't be another passenger
i won't be another passenger

let's see it through
too many speak up then bite their tongues
sometimes the truth isn't what they'll want to hear
i say intimidation's run its course
fuck the violence, segregation and it's "cause"

why should i sit back and let fear rule my life?
who are they to dictate what i think, and feel?
the days of accepting, have been and gone
we've gone the wrong way, far too long

i won't be a passenger - the rest of my life

PARALYTIC

"lights and sounds"

you just do it to yourself

innocence, disconnected
will you ever know who you are?
caught in a maze, full of flashing lights
ego trips and dollar signs

submit yourself, to the sound
of a youthful choir going down
to the depths of all they know


it's becoming who you are, never real, torn apart
chase the ideal image, to find no comfort there


chemicals release, endorphins grow
weightlessness, unconsciousness
fever hits, "please, end this trip"
face first, hit the floor
you don't like this anymore
paralytic
everything's a blur
someone's dragging you through the door
lights
sounds
lights
sounds
there's no mistaking what's taken place
something so simple, pushed too far
but it's becoming all we are
an endless sea of wasted youth
too fucking scared to see the truth
what will it take for you to see the truth?

"How Deep? How Far?"

"How Deep? How Far?"

How deep is the hole?
How far do I have to go?
To find some truth,
To find some peace

How far does this tunnel go?
How long do I have to walk?
To reach the end,
To find some peace

But we can never reach the bottom?
Never content with what we find,
So we walk until our feet bleed,
To find some peace

Dig.
Another.
Hole.

In This World

"In This World"

In this world
People die
In this world
People cheat
People hate
People lie
In this world
People strave
In this world
People crave
People steal
People rape
In this world
People kill
In this world

In this world


People
Look
Away

Our Youth Has Been Cut Short By Wallowing In Self Pity

"Our Youth Has Been Cut Short By Wallowing In Self Pity"

I have pondered, considered my mortaility
Attached it to another, but still no reason to live
Searched for excuses for far too long
There are no more, having considered ending it all
And for what achievement? What to gain?
To become a memory that in many will fade
Risk to crush and burden a cherished few
There is no glamour, no glory, no praise
In throwing life and all it holds away
The sooner that is understood, more better off we'll be
Who wants to lean on crutches so heavily?
Why not be proud to stand on your own two feet?
Find your strengths, although you feel weak
Do not take these words as been there's, and done that's
For I have walked both miles, lived both lives
Have come the the conclusion that it's not my time
To give it all away, without saying goodbye
Leaving those around me wondering why
So why glorify heartache? why use it as weight?
For social acceptance, for sympathy's sake
A beacon of light that hides in the dark
Understand it's not how you act, it's the person you are...

The Cage

"The Cage"

Everything has only grown colder,
This bird cannot sing for someone to hold,
So much progress is made just to start again
This time not knowing where to begin

Since that day nothing's ever been the same
The day I opened the cage was the day that my life changed
you took flight so freely, I just stayed here
Too scared to even dream where I might be someday be

One day I'll move on with or with out you, I'm told
But still I remain in this cage, braving the cold
The cold winds only take strength from these wings
With nowhere to go, I don't know where to begin

Day after day I write poems you won't read
Again and again I sing songs you don't hear
There's only one reason I do this, that will not change
For hope you realise why I'm still here, alone in this cage

With hope time heals me from this burden I bare
and that I leave this rusted cage so in need of repair
I know you're never coming back, that much is so clear
It's all I've gained from this cage, this chilling last year

My Stance

"my stance"

we stand alone, on our own two feet
no comparisons, no compromise
who are they to peer through windows
thinking they know what they cannot see
understanding nothing of what we achieve
in our minds, and in our hearts

i choose to keep my distance
from the ones who throw their rocks at glass
because it's not me they could ever break
what's inside of me won't fall apart
they'll do what they will, all they can
but my strength they could never comprehend

the demons fight me, day and night
life deals me the toughest hand of cards
so i shuffle the deck and roll the dice
but know there is no end in sight
to all they say, all they think they know
of the fire that burns inside of me

i will never stand by their side
and i will never look to run and hide
because nothing breaks what lies within
what's beating deep inside this chest
is a promise i made with myself
to recognize and grow my wealth

build your army, fight your war
but nothing will ever rot the core
of why this exists in you and me
a journey of self-discovery
the choice we make is no cross to bare
for i have in me what you wouldn't dare

a humble existence and a focused mind
for i am not the aggressor, swelling with pride
but a gentle soul who has come to see
we all have what helps us to be free
the something inside, the inspired spark
that helps us keep a light in the dark

Dear Universe

"Dear Universe"

Let things come full circle.
I sacrificed and lost it all,
There's never been a greater fall,
Than the one I took for someone's sake
It's not the choice I wanted to make
But I did, now 12 months have passed
and I can still crack and break like glass
Memories so fragile, split piece by piece
What words can tame this lonely beast?

It's the smell of the pillow, taste of the air
The glowing eyes when I woke to her laying there
Hopeless romantics turn to remorseful lovers
With no answers to questions, asked of eachother
And a heart to defend now until the end
For what was once so safe, is frail and scared
To let someone in, to have reason to mend
I know that she's out there, living her life
Dear universe, take me back there so I can make this wrong right.

No Answers

"no answers"

Think of this world,
Look at what it's become.
Think of the wars,
That can never be won.
Think of the ones,
That will never see light.
Think of the souls
Begging for life.

Take steps forward, just to come back

Is all that we see,
All we will know?
Will there ever be clues,
Of when to let go?
Why have none of my questions,
Been answered as yet?
Is this sinking cold feeling,
As good as in gets?

We open up, just to fall apart

For I've put myself out there,
For everyone to see.
But still I'm not a step closer,
To really being free.
I used to love this place,
It meant the world to me.
But who can love this,
And what it's come to be.

Still nothing feels right for me.

Weight

"weight."

let me run as fast as i can,
from you, from me, from everything
i want fall and not be caught
think the things i've never thought
do the things i wouldn't do
feel what i've never felt

this day feels like it needs to change
i know nothing can be the same
held down so tightly by other's plans
and so disconnected from helping hands
no one to listen when i scream and shout
there's so much here i'd do without

show me there's hope, in all i know
from here my feelings can only grow
for a desire to learn, but never teach
i've wasted so much time on what i can't keep
give me reason to keep these memories
too long i've taught others but never me

block your ears and close your eyes
what i'm about to say you're not going to like
this place wreaks of empty, wasted lives
i've never met people so contrived
on pathetic rumors, built on lies
say whatever you feel is right

i don't care anymore, i'll watch it burn
every word, on your own terms
it's no longer going to bother me
what i was once proud of, now disgusts me
fuck your word, fuck the rest
i want this weight is off my shoulders, and off my chest

Sunday Never Came Again

"sunday never came again"

the warmest summers roll into the coldest winters
the longest days turn into the shortest nights
none of us are getting everything from our lives
there's always a regret, a loss, a cross to bare
heavy hangs the head full of words they never said
which brings a method to our madness
offers hope to those that have none
thoughts swim in this deep blue sea
that fills my head with hopes and dreams
for so long i've been too scared to swim
explore possibility and embrace the end
but so much has made me break, and i never bend
only to go through these days, hoping they might end
in happiness, in the warmth of that place
that place is where i once knew myself
but lost control of all i'd ever hold
love is timeless, possessions fade
and we hold on tight to decisions made
for what we decide is what seals our fate
not just our own but the ones we love
for our lives are magnetic, weather we like it or not
we constantly look at eachother, what we have and haven't got
consuming the thought of what could still have been
is where and who you are, and all inbetween
for these days i regret, these days keep me
because this time last year, my heart was still free...

The Herd

"the herd"

take me away from this messy place
where everything has become such a disgrace
the lies, the schemes, the evil things
that are willing to take what they can from me

with no morality, no remorse
they'll take for their own, no matter the cost
no matter the means, that meets the end
i see nothing but enemies, there are no friends

the age of distrust, as friends rust
crumble, and rot away becoming nothing but dust
we recycle our souls and it's growing old
who are we meant to be? i will never be told..

this is no short story, there's no happy ending
just chapters of heartbreak and delusions of grander
no hinting our purpose, no fighting our fate
but we do nothing to be sure that this life's great

so sit and stare whilst you just fade away
into the depressing reality of urban decay
raping young minds to disintegrate souls
one generation after another it will take its toll

wrapped in cotton wool with no room to grow
a world at fingertips with no reason to cope
the world's so small that there's nothing to hold
how can we let once strong minds go cold?

precautions, prevention, divine intervention
and too many theories than we could mention
of how it began and when it could end
but with every thought comes another trend

another reason to neglect
and become another sheep
that herds for a shepherd that doesn't exist
and considers this wasteland some kind of a gift

Untitled

"untitled"

work so hard, for yourself, for someone else
but minds change and choose to blame
count your losses, because wins are few
and the greater number gives me something to do
because i write these words, so full of regret
not for a lack of trying, but an overwhelming respect
i've fought my demons, that look just like you
and thought long and hard about what i can do
keep on running or stand to fight
defeat myself, and everything else
in hopes we might see a brighter day
but that day won't come, not today
not ever it seems, for i fight for nothing
there's no reason to have hope and dream
no excuses for draining the life right out of me
although i've learned so much about self-reliance
you're giving me thoughts that are ill-assured
you've known my intentions, my only goal
to look you in the eyes without fear taking hold
you to shared the same hopes and dreams
but now i sit, and count my losses
just so you can sleep and night
and just so i can go through another day
knowing i only tried to do what's right
and kiss every memory i have goodbye
because i see no point, there are no answers
now i know those days you promised me
will never come, and never existed
because once again i've gone through hell
just for the sake of someone else
and you know i'll see another day
but this isn't fair, but it's real
forever consume these lines
and haunt every dream
because you know that timeless phrase
is what will kill me every time
"i hope you understand."

Sit And Wonder

'sit and wonder'

i sit and wonder what's outside these walls
a better life? some kind of future?
something set in stone?
in this room i wade in sand
nothing is stable, nothing to hold

i sit and wonder what's outside these walls
a better life? some kind of future?
something set in stone?
it's always easier to walk away
than stand your ground, make your own way

i sit and wonder what's outside these walls
a better life? some kind of future?
something set in stone?
we spend forever looking for answers
there's so many lessons we have to learn

i sit and wonder what's outside these walls
a better life? some kind of future?
something set in stone?
i'm told stories of 'endless possibility'
but all i know is boundaries

i sit and wonder what's outside these walls
a better life? some kind of future?
something set in stone?
i see what this is, where we're heading
and i want no part of it

i'll never know what's outside these walls
i see no hope, i'm too scared to dream.
what is left for me?
i trust no one, believe in nothing
low is the heart of the modern day teen

MOVEMBER - please help out!

so i did it, i fucking shaved!!! first time in about 2.5 - 3 years i have been cleanly shaven but it's for an awesome cause....

details below pictures gang!!!

BEFORE!!!!




AFTER!!!





DETAILS ON DONATIONS!!!

During Movember (the month formerly known as November) I'm growing a Mo. That's right I'm bringing the Mo back because I'm passionate about tackling men's health issues and being proactive in the fight against men's depression and prostate cancer.

To donate to my Mo you can either:

Click this link https://www.movember.com/au/donate/donate-details.php?action=sponsorlink&rego=1761481&country=au and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account, or
Write a cheque payable to ‘Movember Foundation', referencing my Registration Number 1761481 and mailing it to:
Movember Foundation
PO Box 292
Prahran VIC 3181

Remember, all donations over $2 are tax deductible.

The money raised by Movember is used to raise awareness of men's health issues and donated to the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia and beyondblue - the national depression initiative. The PCFA and beyondblue will use the funds to fund research and increase support networks for those men who suffer from prostate cancer and depression.

Did you know:

Depression affects 1 in 6 men....most don't seek help. Untreated depression is a leading risk factor for suicide.
Last year in Australia 18,700 men were diagnosed with prostate cancer and more than 2,900 died of prostate cancer - equivalent to the number of women who will die from breast cancer annually.
For those that have supported Movember in previous years you can be very proud of the impact it has had and can check out the details at: [ Fundraising Outcomes ].

Movember culminates at the end of month Gala Partés. If you would like to be part of this great night you'll need to purchase a [ Gala Parté Ticket ].

Thanks for your support Stuart.

More information is available at http://www.movember.com/.



Movember is proudly grown by Holden and Schick.

Movember is proud partners with the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia and beyondblue - the national depression initiative.

Half-lived Lives And The Honest Truth

“Half-lived Lives And The Honest Truth”

I’ve worked through much in this half-life time,

So many lessons I’ve had to learn,

Hate enough to hold on,

Love enough to let go,

Care enough not to let your feelings show

For so long I’ve had to bite my tongue,

I bite it hard until it bleeds,

The taste of my regrets fills my mouth,

All of the experiences I’ve had,

Are just lines to divide this long road

Where does this leave me now?

Where do I turn?

Where can I go from here?

I’ve grown to hate everything I loved

And embrace my greatest fears

I try to write, and nothing flows

It’s the only way I let things go

I try to hope, but nothing grows

This is the only thing I’ve come to know

Sharpened corners and deadened ends

Is life meant to be for the discontent?

Where we are judged on what we choose to vent,

Everyone wants to teach, but no one’s wants to learn,

We’re measured by scars and what we own,

But we’re all fucked and have nothing to show...

Set Sail

My pal from the states asked me to draw her a picture today as she was feeling fucked up. She is into a different lifestyle to me, so I drew this for her.

Concrete Boots

"concrete boots"

my feet buried deeply in this sand
i can't move unless eroded
taken apart and washed away
only to sink to an untimely death
because there's no time like the present
to tell you i am through with how it is
i am lost in 'how it should be'
and 'how i wish it was'
lacking life
lacking love
lacking life
lacking love
i thought i was in concrete
holding tight to my two feet
but what is life without movement?
and how can we grow without change?
i remember how i got here
compelled by more than few
to be tested time and time again
this sinking feeling's nothing new
always told to understand
never to comprehend
through with misconception
i hate everything you are
everything that you want to be
and what you lead me to believe
letting yourself just drift away
no explanations, no goodbyes
to wash up on a beach with all the corpses
that decided to give up on themselves
and wash away from the ones they love

DESTROY!

listening to TRASH TALK inspired the following....